Who Instead of What: A Different Look at New Year’s Resolutions
I had a conversation just before New Year’s with someone who works at a gym. I asked if their membership would go up as people get motivated by New Year’s Resolutions. He said - of course.
We all know that New Year’s Resolutions don’t generally work, and yet we are attracted to the thought of fresh starts and challenging ourselves to things we know we should have done before the New Year’s ball dropped.
I have a suggestion.
Take some time at the beginning of the year to think about WHO instead of WHAT.
Many of us have found ourselves to be more isolated due to the years of COVID-19, a reliance on social media and our phones, and our busy schedules. And most of us know people who, due to age, illness, or disability, are lonely much of the time.
If we can focus on who, the what can follow.
Here are some considerations to get you thinking:
Which relative is the loneliest? How might you reach out to them? A phone call, a visit, a handwritten note? If they are hard to spend time with, it is fine to create time limits to a visit so that you both protect yourself and make their life happier.
Do you have some friends that you now only interact with on social media? Choose one whom you would love to see again and offer a chance to get together for a walk, a coffee, or a virtual call if they live far away.
Who is an unknown group of people that you have an affinity for? How might you become a regular volunteer to help enhance their experiences? (Examples: volunteer for a dance program that supports people with disabilities, become a peer mentor for people with mental health challenges or a big brother or sister, deliver meals for the homebound, or serve food at a local food bank.)
Which group of people keeps on “threatening” to get together but never does. If you really think the group is sincere about a desire to visit, be the person to make the plan.
Host an open house for an “odd” holiday (groundhog day, arbor day) where you invite neighbors, friends, coworkers and be happy with whoever comes for how ever long they come.
Join an activity either with someone you would like to spend more time with or to meet new people if you are trying to increase your circle. What about pickleball lessons or belly dancing? Ceramics class more your thing? What about a learn to run club or a faith formation class?
If you enjoy writing, buy some cards and stationery. Choose one person a week to write a card or note to. Most people will be thrilled to receive something that isn’t a text message. The hardest part of this activity might just be finding addresses - so start with people where you know how to find them.
I have a prediction. If you engage in some of the activities above (or ones like it), you will have more peace, joy, and connection in 2025. And that seems like something to strive for.
